Finding Happiness – Purposeful Pursuits

Life By Design

Frank Lloyd Wright - Falling Water — Frank Lloyd Wright – Falling Water

Last week I read this post about living an unremarkable life. I really appreciated the author’s perspective. We can’t all be the founders of new multi-billion dollar companies, and I’ve long appreciated the people who quietly do everyday things that make the world seem to effortlessly flow. Crops grow, planes take off, shelves are stocked, floors are cleaned. Sometimes people just have to work and we can’t all be chasing extravagant dreams all the time.

But then I listened to a friend talk about the difference between resigning yourself to something versus choosing to design the experience and its effects. He was talking about healthcare and how we can design better treatment and experiences for patients, but the idea applies to life as a whole.

Should I resign myself to the fact that I’m a plumber and wear overalls and boots to work everyday? Should I resign myself to sacrificing my needs so I can care for aging parents? Am I resigned to never traveling the world, never being rich or famous, never winning awards or having my name in print?

Or, am I living my life by design? My dream is to have a remarkable family, and I choose to make that happen by designing a home environment where love is spoken and felt. The difference that I am making in someone’s life is to smile and hold the door for the woman behind me. Believe it or not, I decide when I am going to have a good day – you can too.

My counter to the original article is that we can all live remarkable lives. It’s just up to us to design what remarkable means. I’m never going to be famous. My parents were everyday people, we went on road trips and worked in the garden and shared clothes. But they taught us how to laugh and sing and work together and serve others. That didn’t happen by accident, it happened by design. And I think it’s pretty remarkable.

Where I’m From

You would think that asking a girl where she’s from is a pretty innocuous question with three possible variations on the answer (e.g. “Lincoln”, “Nebraska” or “Lincoln, Nebraska”). However, I am from the nomadic tribe known commonly as “military brats” and the simple answer to that question continues to escape me. It usually starts off with, “well, I grew up in the Army, so I’ve lived all over the place.” Then comes the recitation of cities, states and countries that I have been blessed to call home. I’ve attempted to come up with a more direct answer. My parents currently reside in Maryland, but I never have, so I’m not from there. I most recently lived in D.C., but have nothing but old tax returns to lay claim. I’m currently in graduate school, which is almost the epitome of temporary living, I’m not from here. Where is home? Let me tell you.

“Home” is an amazing collection of parents, siblings and friends. It’s the place where I always feel safe, like somehow everything is going to be perfectly as it should be in the end. Home is where it’s okay to cry, but it usually ends in laughter. Home is where relationships are always more important than things. In my home, sharing is de rigueur and if I can’t find anything to wear there are three or four more closets I can check. Home is where there are always extra people sitting down for dinner and where the food is always better than any restaurant.

I am from the place that loves this country dearly, and where we have laid many sacrifices in its defense. I am from the place where we are expected to learn every day and to never walk away from a problem unsolved. Where I am from, hard work is just how you do things and everyone is expected to pitch in. I come from miles of road, hours of service, millions of psi of hugs, love and the occasional karaoke night. That’s where I’m from. And it’s pretty awesome.