Janelle

Top 10 (Remote) Internship Tips

The summer is finally coaxing us all out of hibernation and across the country excited new interns are joining the workforce in a bizarre new world. I have been working remotely for a couple of years, so I have managed to figure out a routine that I love. I also had the benefit of spending five years in the office, bumping into people in the elevator, grabbing a drink with a mentor, building relationships by simply being in their line of sight.

Fortunately, the basics of a successful internship haven’t changed drastically. They just need to be modified slightly for a virtual experience. Our interns recently asked me for advice on how to manage expectations and get feedback, so I pulled together this list and decided to share it here.

Before we jump into the top 10, a word on feedback. People seem conditioned to say they love feedback. Tell me how I’m doing all the time. Give me all the feedback.

But honestly, think about the last time someone walked up to you and just said, “hey, let me tell you what you’re doing wrong.” You likely became a little defensive. Recent neuroscience research has shown that, whatever rational ideas we have about feedback, our brains don’t like it. They go into fight or flight mode.

Luckily for all of us, there are subtle ways to hack that response so we don’t have to stumble around blindly forever. Simple changes of language can shift the way our brains process the information. Instead of saying, “Here’s what you should do” (attack/demand) you might say “Here’s what I would do” (exploration/sharing). This article from Fast Company talks about some of this research if you’re interested in learning more.

And now the Top 10…

Setting Expectations

1. Ask how and when to communicate

Everyone’s schedule has been disrupted. You can’t just walk over to someone’s desk to ask a question when you have a minute. Ask specifically when and how your manager wants to communicate. Maybe 4-6 is dinner/family time, but they’re online from 6-8. This is even more important with international teams who make work late evenings or early mornings to flex globally.

Use the same principles in reverse. It’s really easy to try to be available 24/7. Don’t do it. Set clear boundaries and communicate to your team how and when you’re available. No one else is going to manage your boundaries for you.

2. Clarify the work

Pretending you know what someone is talking about and not asking questions so you can “look smart” is a fool’s errand. What’s the scope? When does it need to be delivered? How do they want you to check in? Who are the stakeholders?

A useful tip is to follow up a meeting with an email, documenting what you discussed and what you’re going to do. This will save you and your manager both heartache when you check in after a week of working on a project and find out it’s not at all what they had in mind.

3. Provide options

I often get asked how to manage multiple priorities and stakeholders. Chances are, your manager is not the only one giving you work to do, and they probably don’t know how many other projects you’re working on. When someone asks you for the sixth urgent thing that you can’t possibly add to your plate, you don’t have to say no. You can say, “yes!” (feels good for everyone) “I have these five projects I’m working on. Do you need me to prioritize this and put the other five on hold to the end of the week, or is this something that can wait a little bit?”

4. Follow up! Don’t wait to be asked

There are very few actual emergencies in corporate America and most of the time people can give you a few extra days to tackle everything.

When you’re given something to work on, ask when they want you to check back in with an update. You can also tell them up front when you’ll get back to them. “I’ll start working on this right away. Is it okay if I get a draft to you on Tuesday?”

They won’t be able to see you just ask for the status when it crosses their mind. Try to anticipate what your team needs and provide it before they have to ask. Just because there isn’t an immediate deadline doesn’t mean you should dawdle. The quicker you can get things done, the more reliably you will be perceived and the more interesting projects you’ll be able to work on.

5. Ask about culture and style

Most company norms and behaviors don’t come across easily in a virtual environment. You can’t pick up cues on dress code, energy levels, when people socialize and linger and when they’re heads down and focused. Is your team one that casually gets to a meeting five minutes after the hour or are they all dialed in one minute early? (Pro tip: be one minute early. It’s a handful of weeks. You can do it.)

If you’re planning to make a decision at the end of the summer about whether you want to join this company full time or not, ask questions that will help you get a sense of what the attitudes or behaviors are. This is a great time to ask how they’ve seen leaders handle issues that come up with mental health or in a moment of crisis.

On Feedback

6. Know what you want

Be specific about what you’re asking for. Don’t generalize with “do you have any feedback for me?” People want to be helpful, but it’s hard when they don’t know what you’re trying to improve. Are you trying to strengthen your executive presence? Are you trying to tighten your communication so it’s more focused and deliberate? Tell them what you’re trying to accomplish and let them respond to that specific goal.

7. Provide a structure

Something as simple as “what’s one thing that worked well and one thing that needs to be improved?” is incredibly helpful and will get you quicker responses. The internet has loads of simple feedback structures you can use.

8. Give advance notice

If you want to make sure no one ever gives you useful feedback, wait until the last five minutes of your meeting and just say, “by the way, do you have any feedback for me?”

As an intern, you do need to know how you’re doing and there is a broader arc beyond specific deliverables. When you’re ready for that overall how-am-I-showing-up-at-my-job-and-will-I-get-an-offer kind of feedback, make sure you schedule a specific meeting for that conversation and share the agenda in advance. For an internship, I would plan about once a month. Too frequently doesn’t give you time to respond and incorporate what you learn.

9. Ask for examples

It’s incredibly difficult to do something successfully the first time when you’ve never seen it done before. That’s why I watched a million YouTube videos before I tried tearing apart my motorcycle to clean the carburetor. I couldn’t even figure out where to get started on my own.

The same will be true for work projects. Ask people for examples of when things have worked really well. Ask what style has worked for them in the past. What kind of deliverable are they looking for? Do they have a template you can use? Emulate the best.

10. Address the elephants in the room

Don’t shy away from hard conversations that everyone else is avoiding. Address them head on and you will usually come out ahead. Use the advantage of being new to the team to make observations that others might be overlooking.

Right now an elephant might be pervasive burnout on a team that no one is talking about. Be discreet and kind, but try to probe the issue into the light. You might raise this with your manager by saying, “I noticed every time I meet with someone individually, the casual conversation is about how stressed out they are and they feel overwhelmed about the amount of work they have on top of being stuck at home with kids. But on team calls, no one mentions it and everyone talks as if it’s fine and normal. Am I reading that right? Is there anything I can do to help the team to balance the load? Or would be it be appropriate if we talk about this specifically in our next staff call and see how we can support each other better?”

Bonus: Leave an impression

This is a misnomer because, of course, you can’t help but leave some kind of impression at the end of the summer. Own that impression and make it a memory that you want to leave behind.

If someone isn’t sitting next to you, what are they missing out on? Find ways to share your passions, your quirks, your personality. Part of the beauty of working on a team is being surrounded by weird, funny, caring, messy human beings. Try to get past the sanitized environment of video conferences and share your life outside of work. You can do this by having cool art that you’re passionate about in the background or wearing bow-ties on Fridays. However you do you, don’t leave it behind when you come to work.

What do you think? How have you adjusted to being on a remote team? Any other tips you’ve learned along the way?

Before you place that bet

When I was a young, bright-eyed MBA intern at Citi, the company held weekly presentations for us to hear from different executives about the glorious power of a global banking institution and woo us into accepting a full time offer at the end of the summer. Most of the speakers were disturbingly out of touch – maybe not surprising for Wall Street at any point in history – but one has stayed with me over the years and pops back into my conscious here and there.

The speaker was Brian Leach and at the time he was serving as Citi’s Chief Risk Officer, responsible for a multi-billion dollar portfolio that was being called to task by governments around the work for its part in enabling the subprime mortgage crisis and ensuing recession.

The analogy that he shared was how the nature of risk changes depending on the target. If you were given the option to play one round of Russian roulette for a million dollars, would you say yes? Would that be an acceptable level of risk?

Being a room full of hopeful future investment bankers, most heads were nodding. Totally reasonable exchange.

But what if you weren’t holding the gun to your own head? What if you had to point the gun at your mother, your spouse, your child. How does that change the level of risk you’re willing to take?

With a global pandemic continue to take a heavy toll, there are plenty of arguments on both sides. Arguments for freedom and personal choice. Arguments for empathy and self-sacrifice. As you consider the options and make a decision, as we each must do, you are taking a gamble. Collectively we’re gambling with the economy. With lives and livelihoods. With side-effects and outcomes that we can’t even imagine yet. But just for a minute, before you go all in, think about where that gun is actually pointing before you accept the bet.

Life By Design

Frank Lloyd Wright - Falling Water — Frank Lloyd Wright – Falling Water

Last week I read this post about living an unremarkable life. I really appreciated the author’s perspective. We can’t all be the founders of new multi-billion dollar companies, and I’ve long appreciated the people who quietly do everyday things that make the world seem to effortlessly flow. Crops grow, planes take off, shelves are stocked, floors are cleaned. Sometimes people just have to work and we can’t all be chasing extravagant dreams all the time.

But then I listened to a friend talk about the difference between resigning yourself to something versus choosing to design the experience and its effects. He was talking about healthcare and how we can design better treatment and experiences for patients, but the idea applies to life as a whole.

Should I resign myself to the fact that I’m a plumber and wear overalls and boots to work everyday? Should I resign myself to sacrificing my needs so I can care for aging parents? Am I resigned to never traveling the world, never being rich or famous, never winning awards or having my name in print?

Or, am I living my life by design? My dream is to have a remarkable family, and I choose to make that happen by designing a home environment where love is spoken and felt. The difference that I am making in someone’s life is to smile and hold the door for the woman behind me. Believe it or not, I decide when I am going to have a good day – you can too.

My counter to the original article is that we can all live remarkable lives. It’s just up to us to design what remarkable means. I’m never going to be famous. My parents were everyday people, we went on road trips and worked in the garden and shared clothes. But they taught us how to laugh and sing and work together and serve others. That didn’t happen by accident, it happened by design. And I think it’s pretty remarkable.

Service and Love

Thank you — Youthlinc Service Trip to Thailand – A Whole Lotta Love!

The surest way to love someone is to serve them. This is an idea that I have been living with for many years, but I received a much needed reminder this week about the powerful force that is unleashed by giving service. Think about the last time that you served someone, served him or her with an open heart because you knew they were in need and you were ready to help. Now examine your feelings for that person. I would imagine that, regardless of the relationship, there is an underlying tenderness that is distinct from most feelings of friendship or regard.

A couple of years ago I led a church-based tutoring group that met once a week to help elementary school children from the Hispanic community with their homework. I had no affiliation with these kids, other than spending one hour a week reading, going over math or science problems*, and helping review upcoming homework assignments with their parents. I have not seen a single one of those children in three years and I don’t remember any of their names. And yet, my heart softens when I think of the times that one particular little girl would come to me with her scissors and glue and prepare to complete her project with more energy than I could ever muster on a weeknight. Because of the service that I rendered, I developed a love for her that will always remain.

The photograph above is from two of my cousins who went on a service trip to a school in Thailand with Youthlinc. Still in high school, these two girls left their comfortable homes, beds, cars, cell phones, cable tvs, hot showers and every friend to go to help these young students. Two years later, their hearts are still full. Their eyes light up as they name a child from the school. They would go back in a second and they will remember these children forever.

Time and again I have entered a service opportunity reluctantly. It is never a convenient time, and I always have a mile long list of other things I would rather be doing. But without fail, by the end of the event I can’t help but smile. My burdens are lighter, my goals are loftier, and my spirit is renewed for another round with the toils of the world.

So here is the other side of the equation. We feel inclined to give service, and the natural side effect is love. But what if we need to love someone? What about that person who always manages to find your last nerve and then do backflips on it? What about the obnoxious neighbor who talks too loud, or the coworker who is always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time? I challenge you to take that person and find a way to provide service to him or her. Wash your neighbor’s car. Bake your coworker some cookies. Just see what happens, you might be surprised.

*I saw one homework problem, I’m not kidding, of designing a new impact-resistant bumper for a car. Selecting the materials, drawing the schematics, writing a work order. This was for a sixth grader! I didn’t provide much help on the homework, but I was the most enthusiastic supporter in the room.

Where I’m From

You would think that asking a girl where she’s from is a pretty innocuous question with three possible variations on the answer (e.g. “Lincoln”, “Nebraska” or “Lincoln, Nebraska”). However, I am from the nomadic tribe known commonly as “military brats” and the simple answer to that question continues to escape me. It usually starts off with, “well, I grew up in the Army, so I’ve lived all over the place.” Then comes the recitation of cities, states and countries that I have been blessed to call home. I’ve attempted to come up with a more direct answer. My parents currently reside in Maryland, but I never have, so I’m not from there. I most recently lived in D.C., but have nothing but old tax returns to lay claim. I’m currently in graduate school, which is almost the epitome of temporary living, I’m not from here. Where is home? Let me tell you.

“Home” is an amazing collection of parents, siblings and friends. It’s the place where I always feel safe, like somehow everything is going to be perfectly as it should be in the end. Home is where it’s okay to cry, but it usually ends in laughter. Home is where relationships are always more important than things. In my home, sharing is de rigueur and if I can’t find anything to wear there are three or four more closets I can check. Home is where there are always extra people sitting down for dinner and where the food is always better than any restaurant.

I am from the place that loves this country dearly, and where we have laid many sacrifices in its defense. I am from the place where we are expected to learn every day and to never walk away from a problem unsolved. Where I am from, hard work is just how you do things and everyone is expected to pitch in. I come from miles of road, hours of service, millions of psi of hugs, love and the occasional karaoke night. That’s where I’m from. And it’s pretty awesome.

Living with Slack

My homage to The Sandlot, a lost ball, and a whole lot of slobber

Last week I was driving across town with a friend when we spied a forlorn little boy standing in his yard while a lone soccer ball rested in the gutter on the far side of a chain-link fence. My friend immediately turned to me and asked, “can we flip around and go get his ball for him?” Are you kidding me? Heck yes, let’s get that ball! After a couple of quick u-turns and a dash into the street, we drove off and left one very happy kid reunited with his soccer ball. Probably the best three minutes I spent that whole week.

As I drove away from this encounter, two things were implanted in my mind. First, thank goodness for people like my friend who spoke up and took action when he saw the opportunity to help someone out. I’m trying to turn more thoughts into deeds, but I need the example of good-hearted people around me to remind me to make a u-turn and go get that kid’s ball. Dan, this is for you, thanks.

The second thing is something that I’ve been mulling over for awhile, and was reinforced with this event. I have recently been trying to incorporate more “slack” into my life. Instead of letting everything run right up to the wire – time, energy, finances, groceries – and then being thrown off when one little kink gets thrown in, I’m trying to build in buffers so I have space to maneuver without disrupting my entire day.

I realized the need for more slack in my time management a few weeks ago when I was finishing up some homework at around 2 am – working at the last possible minute after six full days off of school. See, I had planned to do my homework on Monday and turn it in on Tuesday. But then on Monday my sister needed my help with a whole list of things that she had to get done, so I ended up starting my homework sometime around 11 pm, instead of 11 am as I had planned. The problem was that I had no slack built in to my time, so I couldn’t accommodate any variation without massive repercussions. Since then I’ve been trying to be more proactive in managing my time, getting things done and out of the way so I have room for last minute “surprises.”

Having slack in your time allows you to not only stay on schedule for unexpected events, it also gives you the freedom to make choices in the moment. If I had been running late for an appointment as I drove across town that day, I would not have had time to pull over and grab that kid’s ball. If my homework was due Monday night instead of Tuesday morning, I would not have been able to help my sister with her needs.

So this is my goal: don’t pack my day so full that I have no time to stop and help a friend. Don’t put things off to the last minute so my time is constrained and I can’t choose where to spend those precious moments of the day. In essence, manage the slack.

Eating Sushi in a Landlocked State

Since moving to the desert, I have been greatly saddened by the lack of fresh seafood. You have to understand, I used to work half a block away from one of the best sushi restaurants in DC and sometimes I just really need some good sushi. So a couple of months ago I found out that a friend of mine lived in Japan for two years and knows how to make sushi like a PRO. He didn’t know it at the time, but I determined there and then that Spicy Tuna would be part of my life again. A few weeks ago, I commandeered my grandmother’s house and the stars aligned with great friends, a lot of rice, some tuna, salmon, mango, cucumber, avocado, and loads of various and sundry tasty morsels to create the best sushi night between the Rocky Mountains and the Sierra Nevada.

The point of this, however, is not to reflect on homemade fine dining. At the end of the night, after putting away the leftovers and getting the house reasonably put back together, I ushered the last guests to the door and went back to finish up the dishes. At close to midnight, and up to my elbows in suds, a visiting family friend walked into the kitchen and started rinsing and drying the dishes I had washed. Two minutes later, his wife joined him and I was relegated to making small talk while they busily tidied up the remainders of my party.

They made quick work of the kitchen, and I was left completely blown away by the simple service that this couple happily performed. They were in the house visiting from out of town, heard my guests leave and knew I was alone with a mess. Without hesitation, they were right there, pitching in and making sure I didn’t spend the whole night cleaning away. While I went home with fond memories of the close friends and the great food from the evening, the more lasting impression was from two new friends who taught me a little bit more about how to live a life focused less on myself and more on those around me. It’s one thing to ask, “what can I do to help?” and then leave with a satisfied conscience. It’s something else entirely to just walk up to the sink, grab a washcloth and get to work. My goal going forward is to stop asking and just start doing.

Update: The image here is from Jiro Dreams of Sushi. That guy is a master, but his people skills could use a little work.

Velour Live Music Gallery

No matter where I am or what I am doing, live music speaks to my soul. In DC I was a regular at the venerable 9:30 Club, where everyone who was anyone went to perform – from upstarts breaking on to the scene like The Naked and Famous to the standard bearers of rock and roll such as Bob Dylan and the new megastars like multi-platinum prima donna Adele. Many years ago I stopped in to see a new young singer songwriter that I had never heard of, and left at the end of the evening with a Geek in the Pink concert t-shirt, just because it was THAT GOOD. I was despondent to leave DC, thinking I would never find a place that had so much raw talent it seemed to just ooze out of the masonry.

Enter Velour Live Music Gallery, an unassuming club in sleepy downtown Provo, which hosts an eclectic mix of artists to a rambunctious all-ages crowd of serious music fans. I stopped by in December for their epic Christmas show, featuring about two dozen local acts performing original pieces as well as beautiful reincarnations of Christmas classics. It also happened to be the night that the Mayor of Provo stopped by to present proprietor Corey Fox with a plaque commemorating the support that he had given to the local arts community and the revival of downtown Provo. In his blog, the Mayor described his night:

“Thanks to Velour, downtown Provo is being compared right now to other major music cities such as Seattle, LA, and Nashville in developing nationally recognized bands. During the last few years several bands that got their start at Velour have now signed national recording contracts including Neon Trees, Isaac Russell, Fictionist, and Imagine Dragons. “

All I have to say is hear, hear! I am totally blown away by the musical talent that has cropped up in Utah County, and could not be happier to see true artists with thoughtful stagecraft and carefully honed skills getting their musical break in my own backyard. Rock on!

If you’re interested in checking out local talent, I haven’t seen everything, but I can whole-heartedly recommend any chance you get to see Ryan Innes, Desert Noises or The New Electric Sound. You won’t be disappointed!

Update: Corey Fox recently provided a list of upcoming bands to watch. Check them out at UVMAG. Also, grab a free download from Ryan Innes here.

Learning to Give

In my Personal Financial Planning class, one of the four stated objectives is Learning to Give. The syllabus explains:

Learn to give. If you cannot learn to give when you are poor (which is now), you will never learn to give when you are rich. Someone said “We make a living by what we get, but we build a life by what we give.” Giving is not determined by your checkbook, but by your heart.

I hadn’t really thought specifically about learning to give, how I learned it, or what inspired others. When thinking about it, though, it’s obvious, isn’t it? Giving is a learned attribute, something that is most often ingrained in us as children.

One of my family’s favorite Christmas stories is from when we were living in Germany many years ago. My grandparents came in to town on the train, and when my mom went to pick them up from the station they encountered an elderly woman who was alone and trying to find a place where she could get dinner on Christmas Eve. In the completely pure-hearted manner that I learned to recognize in my parents, they just scooped her up and brought her home with them to spend the holiday meal with our family.

We had five girls at home, aged about 12 years old to 2. We didn’t speak German. She didn’t speak English. But somehow that wasn’t a problem at all. We sang songs and reenacted the Nativity scene, and at the end of the evening we were eager to finish our traditions by opening one present. With this stranger in our midst, we were instantaneously transformed from gift receivers to gift givers. We ran around the house finding anything that might be appropriate for our new friend. I remember pulling a decorative little hat off the wall and wrapping it with hurried care. This sweet woman was overcome by the simple generosity of a young family, opening their home to a perfect stranger.

Twenty years later, my grandparents, parents and sisters still recount this story with lots of smiles and laughter. It’s a great memory for all of us, but it’s also more than that. As we sit around reminiscing and share this story with the next generation of children and grandchildren, we’re teaching a critical lesson. We are givers. We open our hearts and our homes to those in need. That is a scary thing to do! Life is hectic and sometimes we barely have enough resources just to get from day to day. But when we are willing to take a moment and give back, it makes life so much sweeter.

To help implement learning (and teaching) to give, this year I am going to give Kiva cards to my close friends and family. I am so excited for my little nephews to look through the website and decide which person to loan their money to and to get them thinking about the lives and circumstances of people in other parts of the world. I’m also looking into KidsasHeroes.org to see if there are any other programs that we can help support as a family.

There are thousands of opportunities to make an impact and help others. What tools and resources have you used to encourage others to learn to give?

Everyday Inspiration

When I left my house this morning it was snowing. In buckets. Again. Last year’s mild winter obviously spoiled me, because I am still inexplicably surprised every time I walk outside and can’t see the ground for layers of ice and snow drifts. After a harrowing drive to make an early appointment, I decided to stop for breakfast on the way back and give the snow plows a chance to get out and at least clear the worst of the weather.

As I sat next to the window, overhearing snippets of conversation from the room around me, one of the men in the next booth said, “Should we give him a push?” With no further discussion, these two guys left their breakfast, didn’t even pause to put on their coats, and walked outside to give a helping hand to the Mustang that was hopelessly spinning his wheels in the parking lot. It only took a second, he was on his way, and they were back inside as if nothing happened.While these two strangers probably aren’t on a mission to change the world, they’re doing it anyway.

Kid President gave us some great advice in his pep talk:

“This is your time. This is my time. It’s our time, if we can make everyday better for each other, if we’re all in the same team let’s start acting like it. We got work to do. We can cry about it or dance about it. We were made to be awesome.”

That’s what I’m trying to do. I’m just a normal person, eating mybreakfast, wondering how one little drop in the vast sea of humanity can do anything to help hold back the storms and make life a little easier for my team. I can’t quit work and go build orphanages in Asia. I can’t start a non-profit that teaches literacy to the kids in the favela. I don’t even think I’d be good at it. But I am determined to make a difference. So come with me on this journey to find out how one person, in whatever small and simple ways, can help change the world.